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Secretly Worried About Your Drinking Behavior?

Are you a high-profile, successful person who is concerned about your drinking behavior (or that of a loved one)? Have you considered traditional treatment approaches but stayed away because of concerns about privacy, discretion, confidentiality or respect?

• Do you drink to unwind or relieve stress, yet realize that this short-term solution sometimes interferes with your overall, long-term well-being?
• Do you keep making vows to yourself to get control of your drinking habits?
• Are you growing frustrated with your inability to let go of a self-defeating, compulsive habit?
• Do you avoid seeking help because you don’t want to be labeled “an alcoholic”?
• Do you bristle at the idea of being told, “You’re in denial,” if you consider treatments that differ from the prevailing approach?

There is a Solution

Get back to who you really are – to the best version of yourself – and escape from these compulsive habits! I’d like to help.

I work with clients who want to get control of compulsive, self-defeating addictions and unsatisfying habits, using a refreshingly contemporary approach. 

You are not alone

There are many, many people like you who have successful careers and are very hesitant to seek out help. They are afraid of being labeled with an unsavory diagnosis. Many are realistically afraid that the “Anonymous” in AA may turn out to be not-so-anonymous. (What would you do if you went to a meeting and saw your doctor, pastor, boss, or mayor?)

Did you know that most people who stop drinking do it on their own? Now, that doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you if you have tried to stop but have been unsuccessful. What it does mean is that there are some things these people have tried that worked. Wouldn’t it be useful to know some of the things that have worked for others?

Yes, it probably would. And now you can know these things too.  

You can wake up feeling wonderful, eager to get into your day, optimistic, free of that sense of feeling overwhelmed and “less-than”. Enjoying your work and relationships more and having the time and freedom to enjoy and accomplish and create.

Hold On…      

I’m afraid to find out (or admit) that I might be an alcoholic

The question, “Am I an alcoholic?” may not be the most helpful question.

First of all, I don’t use “alcoholic” when thinking of my clients. Instead, current literature refers to “problematic drinking behavior.” No, it’s not sugarcoating, and it’s not denial.  It’s a clear description of behavior, without having to condemn or shame a person with a fuzzy, stigmatizing label.

Examples of more motivating, more relevant and more helpful questions include:  “How can I deal with this behavior that is making me feel bad about myself?” Or, “How can I feel happy, healthy, motivated, and creative again?” Regardless of the words and labels we use, you know what behaviors, feelings and results you want to change. I can help you sort all of this out. 

What if I’ve already seen other medical professionals, psychologists, therapists, counselors, or have even been
to 12-step meetings or rehab programs? 

A number of my clients have been to rehab several times, along with 12-step meetings, and even private groups catering to CEOs, physicians, judges, lawyers, and teachers. Many require the strictest privacy and confidentiality to protect their careers. The clients who come to see me have not found these previous treatment approaches very helpful.

But I’ve been to highly-respected experts in this field.  Why didn’t they share these newer research findings with me?

Unfortunately, many patients fear that they will be accused of being “in denial” if they don’t agree with a particular “traditional” treatment approach. 

It can take 15 to 20 years for even well-accepted and conclusive research findings to trickle down into clinicians’ common knowledge and clinical application. Many professionals rely on their original training and on the prevailing treatments; some may not have sought out new approaches. For them, they may see their method as “tried and true.”

So regardless of what you’ve learned or been told before, there is probably plenty of newer, research-based information out there, and it might be very helpful and encouraging to add this to your present understanding.

Knowledge is power. Knowledge, not willpower, is extremely motivating. 

What my clients have experienced

To give you a sense of what it might be like to work with me, I’ll share a little story with you. (To guard this particular client’s privacy and confidentiality, all identifying details have been changed)

This 42-year old, very accomplished and successful attorney had been divorced for 3 years and was a single mother of 2 children. She had been to rehab several times and had previously been in individual and group therapy with another excellent therapist.  Nonetheless, her drinking behavior had become frequent, excessive, and quite problematic and was straining her relationship with her two children.

She came to me for help. She wanted to stop drinking altogether and was very discouraged and unhappy about having an “incurable disease,” which was the mindset she had adopted from her previous treatments. After about three months of our working together, she began to transform before everyone’s eyes. People at work commented on how relaxed and upbeat she seemed (no one outside her family was aware of her drinking behavior).

She eventually was able to stop drinking with relative ease, and the mountains in her life became the molehills that they actually were. She stopped lashing out at her kids, and her relationship with them continues to improve. A positive side effect of stopping her nightly “tonics” was a 20-pound weight loss. Six months later, she looked beautiful, vibrant, and happy.  She had gotten back to who she really is, to who she always was inside. She checked in with me about a year later, and reported that she was dating a nice man, and that “I feel happier than I’ve felt since before I can even remember!”

From time to time, I receive a nice surprise in the mail from a former client. I am always touched by this, and am reminded of what an honor and privilege it is to be invited into their private lives, to help them get back to who they really are, and to where they want to be. Here are a few brief excerpts:

…I thought you would like to know that J. and I are getting married next Saturday!  Especially since this has finally come about, largely as a result of your help in our sessions.  Thank you!  …N.W.

…I’m leaving you a copy of the current issue of Black and White. They published one of my photographs! I wanted you to see it, since you helped me gain the courage to take risks and put my work out there... B.L.

…I got a new job and will be moving to (another city). I know I still have some work to do, but I feel that I made a lot of progress in being less reactive and more self- aware.  And that has helped me to stop my self-destructive patterns. You are a wonderful therapist, and I appreciate all your help… S.J.

…You’re the first person who told me I am in control. I’ll never forget that day.  Before that, I just accepted that I had a disease, for which there was no cure. You gave me hope. From there on out I felt like a completely different person, as if my very identity had changed. After that, it was pretty easy. You were right. It doesn’t have to be a struggle. What I resist does persist. I never thought I could just choose. Somehow in working with you I was able to believe in myself again. Thank you for believing in me. That came across loud and clear…B.U.

…I wanted to take this time to say thank you so much, because I really don’t know what to say. You’ve just done a lot of great for my daughter and I appreciate it, more than you know…F.J.

Why Melanie Wilson, PsyD – Licensed, Clinical Psychologist?

I have been a doctoral-level, licensed, clinical psychologist for over 20 years. I have worked in schools, hospitals, corporations and private practice, helping individuals and families develop, grow, and change. I have taught and facilitated workshops, given talks, and I have contributed regularly for a parenting magazine.

I developed an interest in helping people with alcohol-related problems after several of my clients confided that they recognized that their drinking behavior was interfering with their lives. Some of them had tried to get help for their problematic drinking behavior through traditional approaches, and had pretty much given up hope.

I had come to know and respect these clients, and I felt that there just had to be better way!  So for the past 4 years, I have done extensive research and I have sought out up-to-date training in the area of understanding and treating compulsive-addictive behaviors – problematic drinking behavior in particular – using evidence-based techniques.

That being said, most of the research on therapy effectiveness indicates that regardless of the approach or techniques being used in a helping relationship – whether evidence-based or not – it is the quality of the relationship between the helper (therapist) and the person being helped (client) that is the most important ingredient for success.

Contact me

If after reading this page, you’re not sure if I can help you, I offer a no-charge, no-obligation, 20-minute phone consultation. That way you can ask me any questions you may have, learn more about how we might work together, and get a sense of whether you feel comfortable with me. I invite you to email me at Melanie@DrMelanieWilson.com, or call me at 610-526-9111, to schedule a phone consultation.   

I’d like to help!